My husband posted a generous tip a couple of days ago that I thought was insightful and massively important when it comes to building trust and intimacy in your marriage. It’s written to guys, but is just applicable to us gals. Read and apply as needed.
Ever not told your bride something because you knew it would upset her? Some guys do this to avoid confessing sin (adultery, porn) or a mistake (bad financial decision, getting a ticket, gambling losses). Other times not telling is done to avoid things that are not the man’s fault – the possibility of being laid off at work, something one of the kids did, or bad news of any kind. Still other times it’s a matter of not wanting to upset her when you want something – from sex tonight to a few days away hunting next month.
I get it. I understand not wanting to be the messenger who might be yelled at, I understand not wanting her to be disappointed in you, and I understand just hating it when she feels hurt. Thing is, most women see not sharing something as the same thing as lying to them. So when she finds out (and let’s face it, that happens a good deal of the time) her anger or hurt is compounded by her sense of betrayal that you did not tell her in the first place. If this happens very often, she will feel she can’t trust you, and that’s not something you want or need in your life!
Personally, I think withholding things is wrong even if it’s guaranteed she will never find out – and a lot of guys have found out that there is no such thing as a guarantee that she won’t ever find out.
Be generous! Lori <><