What Husbands Want – Believe My Words

October 21, 2010

in the generous life


Many men felt that their words of love and appreciation were not accepted. Most of them acknowledged that it seemed to be more about their wife’s self-image rather than because they were unbelievable.

That said, there was a lot of grief expressed over the level of self-hatred and self-doubt that women routinely express. The men felt that their words were not received and that grieved them because 1) they want to communicate their love and appreciation and 2) they hate to see their wives berate and belittle themselves (especially given that they see them as lovable, beautiful women!).

I’m not entirely sure what the solution is, but learning to say, “thank you” would be a wonderful gift to give your husband when he compliments you.

Any of you that are struggling with poor self-image, I encourage you to seek God’s truth about your worth and ask Him to help you build standards that are in keeping with His Word, rather than what the world has to offer.

Generous tip: The next time your husband compliments you, take a deep breath, smile and say, “thank you.” Just, “thank you.” Nothing more. Don’t follow up with reasons why you are not perfect or why whatever it is you are being complimented over is not quite perfect, or whatever. Just, “thank you.”  (Bite your tongue if you have to!)

Be generous! Lori <><

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Seaweedandraine October 21, 2010 at 3:23 am

Thank you. The enemy likes to feed us lies about our worth to undermine what God says about us. We are loved and we are cherished by God. The fact that our husbands are instructed by God to love us (so we CAN believe it when they tell us we are beautiful) as God does should say something to us about our worth. Don’t missunderstand me. I have my own set of lies that the enemy likes to feed me… I just have to keep remembering to go to the Source of life and light for the truth. Keep seeking what God says about you – and BELIEVE IT – after all, he designed you, right?
.-= Seaweedandraine´s last blog ..Dream on =-.


Jen October 21, 2010 at 5:11 am

yeah this is something that I constantly struggle with.Once in awhile my husband will tell me how beautiful I am and I ALWAYS end up excusing it away because I have so much self loathing.I’m workin on it though. :)


Hailey October 21, 2010 at 7:16 am

Thanks! I needed this one today. I’m at the end of my first pregnancy and struggling with self image with my newly-acquired stretch marks (lots of them! all over my abdomen! dark!). My husband is very sweet and still says that he thinks I’m beautiful and attractive. He even told me that it upsets him when I don’t “believe” what he says about me. I realized this isn’t his problem. It’s MINE. I have made it a matter of prayer and hope to be able to accept myself again, as I know Heavenly Father wants me to! I know it will help our relationship!


Wanda October 22, 2010 at 2:24 pm

Thanks, I needed to read this today! I consistently doubt the reasons why my husband loves me, not because I doubt him, but because I don’t like my own self-image. I have seen the hurt on his eyes when I can’t take his compliments… The last thing I want to do is hurt him…I must really work hard on this one.


Dean October 27, 2010 at 8:09 am

As a husband, might I add a little suggestion? Next time your husband gives you a compliment, reply with, “do you really think so?” It lets him know you’re insecure and don’t see what he sees, but also that you’re not doubting him.

Excellent post, by the way.


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