What Husbands Want – Be My Friend & Companion

October 20, 2010

in the generous life


A number of men talked about wanting their wife to be their companion in life, to connect daily, to relax and spend time together. The need for emotional and relational connection was high and there was a real desire to know what their wife thinks, wants, doesn’t want, etc. They wanted to share their dreams, pray and talk through their personal wounds, and just generally be close, intimate friends for life.

One facet of this was a strong desire to meet on equal terms, to appreciate and accept each other, to enjoy and work with each other, differences and all, in a way that respects each others uniqueness.

What tended to throw a spanner in the works, was rejection. When a husband felt that his feelings, dreams, etc. where not welcomed (or at least listened to), then it was easy to withdraw. It’s hard to connect and share from your heart when you feel your thoughts are not accepted.

Generous tip: make up a “report” on your husband. What does he like, not like, dream of, need, desire, etc. Pray over your report and ask the Lord to help you be a companion and friend to this man. Ask God to help you understand him and relate to him in ways that take into account both of your natures.

Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.  Jewish saying

Be generous!  Lori <><

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Banana October 20, 2012 at 3:35 pm

what can I do to get my husband to reciprocate this behavior. I am very attentive, affectionate, and respectful, but my man is not reciprocating. I tried to tell him one of my dearest dreams for the future and his response was, “You better go find a new husband then.” After the second time, I have not even tried. I am starting to believe, with this amongst other things, that I have become his worker and am no longer his friend and wife. I don’t know what to do.


The Generous Wife October 20, 2012 at 6:42 pm

My encouragement would be to continue being his friend and loving wife. You can’t change his behavior or beliefs, but don’t let that change you. Decide who you will be and be that. Hold to and pray for your dreams.

I know it feels discouraging, but continue to be yourself. From time to time remind him of your dreams. You actually have more influence than you know.

Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat. F. Scott Fitzgerald


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