What Husbands Want – Respect Me

October 18, 2010

in the generous life


Men asked for respect in a number of forms. Respecting their leadership and decision making ranked fairly high, but there were also more subtle requests for respect such as “please don’t talk about our disagreements with other people” or “take into account my personal preferences when making choices and decisions.” It was a fairly complex list of things that all pointed to needing respect.

The thing that stood out to me the most was the need to be spoken to and treated respectfully both privately and publicly. Criticism, ridicule and snide remarks were deeply wounding and tended to shut men down emotionally.

I think sometimes we get overwhelmed by our day and forget that our guys are human too and have days that are just as challenging. They need the same kind words and encouragement that we desire. They are stronger physically and I think sometimes we assume they are tough all the way through, but that is not so. Unkind words and attitudes can wound them deeply and tear at their personal sense of worth, which is deeply grounded in a need for respect.

Generous tip: Make a point of saying something each day that shows that you respect, trust, and/or admire you husband. Try to say it in front of others when you reasonably can.

Good Book Resource: Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerich

Be generous!  Lori <><

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Seaweedandraine October 18, 2010 at 4:31 am

I have that book. While I was reading it, I asked my husband about some of the things it mentioned that had never occured to me before – and he agreed. Not only does the book teach in a brilliant way, but it is a Biblical concept. Women are told to respect their husbands, and husbands are told to love their wives. Eph 5:24,25.
.-= Seaweedandraine´s last blog ..Dream on =-.


Heather October 21, 2010 at 5:34 pm


I have to agree. Respect is BIG and we work very hard on it at my house. We constantly are trying to take into consideration each other. Sometimes we slip, and that’s ok since we’re both human. But, we both try very hard.

In fact, as a way of showing respect for him, I make it a habit to tell him that I think he is a good man, a good provider, a good spouse, a good dad; you get the picture. I also make a habit to post on my blog weekly (sometimes it doesn’t happen and I post 2 in one week) at least 1 reason why I think my husband rocks. I think it builds him up while pulling us closer because he knows that I respect him. I also tell him reasons in private the things that I don’t feel comfortable sharing with the whole wide world or the things that he can treasure in his heart as just his.

Thanks for all your tips.



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