LOVE ME, LOVE MY SEXUALITY
Well, ladies, we knew this one was going to make the list. A man’s sexuality is an integral part of who he is. When his sexuality is appreciated and satisfied, he feels genuinely loved and deeply satisfied.
The single most mentioned thing from the men was “desire me sexually” followed by “please initiate sex” (which is very much the same thing because initiating means you desire him).
Here are a few other mentions:
* validate my sexuality as normal and good
* appreciate my sexuality and sexual ability
* be bold, be specific (we often miss those subtle hints)
* surprise me!
* flirt with me, dress up for me, be confident in your sexuality
* please don’t tease me and then not follow through
* when you need to say no, say no kindly
* please be willing to be creative in the bedroom (this was everything from “please don’t think I’m into porn because I want to try something new,” to desiring creativity to deal with physical problems and limitations), for many men creativity is a normal, good part of sex, not a comment about dissatisfaction
Many men also wanted women to know that sex is not just physical for them. They deeply love their wives and sex is a way to be intimate with the woman they love.
For many women, sex presents a problem. Our societal and family messages have left us ill-prepared to enjoy sex and our busyness often leaves us exhausted physically. And given that many of us have been sexually abused in one form or another … well, you get the picture. Sex is a huge struggle for many of us and it is one of the more important things to our husbands. (the enemy is having a good laugh over this one). :(
I strongly recommend fighting this battle with passion and determination. God designed both men and women to enjoy sex and it is a source of deep intimacy in a marriage. Even though many of us struggle with it, we need to see that as God’s intent and seek healing and new insight so that we can join our husband’s in enjoying this wonderful gift from God.
There are a number of good books about married sexuality, some written to women specifically.
Please also pray about your priorities. We have 24 hours in each day and we need to invest time in the people and activities that are truly important.
Generous tip: Think of three different ways to invite your husband to have sex (and try them out on him over the next week). For example, there is the “honey, could you help me with this curtain rod” (or whatever excuse you can think of to get him into the bedroom) followed by an ambush. There is also the direct approach, “honey, you have on too many clothes.” You could write up an invitation or call him on his cell phone when you know he is on the way home.
I want a wife who understands the depth of my desire and need to have a full and fulfilling sexual relationship with her and her only. a generous husband
Think generous! Lori <><