What Husbands Want – Understand That I Juggle Responsibilities

October 14, 2010

in the generous life


Several of the guys shared about the pull between work and home. They voiced the need for understanding over the conflict between work and family needs. They want to make time for family, but their job is what supports their family and it needs to have appropriate attention. It’s not always easy to take time off for family things or call from work (when they do call, please realize that they may have to keep it short or that they may be interrupted). Basically it was a plea for understanding that their day is complicated too and they need to invest in their work.

A spin off of that was a need for a warm welcome and not having to face responsibilities or troubles the moment they get home. Some even wanted/needed a bit of quiet time when they first got home from work to make the jump from work to family.

Jeanette’s generous tip: I have found that my man feels loved, wanted, needed and accepted when I walk out and meet him in the driveway when he gets home from work. I don’t really ask how his day was or tell him about mine. I just say, “Hi, honey. I’m glad you’re home.” And give him a kiss and hug. I let him lead in any conversation or if I perceive he had a wearisome day, I might tell him an anecdote about the kids or the pets or something like that. It is amazing how welcomed and loved it seems to make him feel.

I don’t do it every day so that it doesn’t become just a routine. If I am really busy when I hear him pull up, I just shout that dad is home and one or more of the 4 boys goes out to greet him. It could be the 20 year old or the 6 year old or any and all of them in between. We have done this for years and it lets dad know that we feel incomplete without him among us.

Be generous!  Lori <><

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Joyce October 14, 2010 at 4:18 am

Hi: I think this is very good advice. But it is not gender-specific; many wives work as well!


Casey October 14, 2010 at 5:24 am

I agree with Joyce. While this is great advice for the SAHMs, most women in the NYC/NJ area work and in some cases are the breadwinners for their families. They are dealing with the same pull between work and family. In some cases, they deal with even more pressure because they are the primary caregivers as well.

I mention this because I’m wondering if any of the husbands have suggestions for these women and families.


The Generous Wife October 14, 2010 at 7:28 am

My husband did a similar series for the guys where he shared what women want from their husbands. Perhaps I can talk him into running that series again. It’s always good to hear from the other gender. Lori


LaTisha October 14, 2010 at 9:12 am

My husband is a Marine and when he comes home, we are ALL glad to see him. BUT I won’t let my kids start jumping all over him and doing a lot of talking right away. We all go out and hug him when he arrives but after that, they go back to what they were doing before he came home and I help him take off his boots and uniform as he sits in his own chair. During that time we talk about his day if he wants but my goal is to let him relax before he starts hearing who did what and why. Then, when he’s ready, he’ll start calling the kids to him. I found that this works best for our family.


Lauren October 15, 2010 at 6:25 am

If I get home before my husband, I open the main door and keep the glass door closed, so he can see how excited the dog gets when he pulls up. I greet him in the foyer with a hug and kiss and an “I’m glad your home” and then let him do his thing for about 15 minutes. He’s mentioned many times that is something he LOVES – knowing that his family is excited to see him at the end of the day, and that he is coming home to something good. I can’t wait until we have kids and I get to add them into Dad’s Daily Welcoming Party! ~ L


Jillian October 15, 2010 at 4:47 pm

Thanks for this tip! I struggle with this – it always seems that 5:00-6:00 is the most hectic hour in our home. It gives me something to pray about and work on for my incredible groom.


Julie October 16, 2010 at 7:34 am

Hey all! I am SO totally agreeing with all ya’ll! I stay at home with my girls, and want to tell my hubby all about our day when he walks in. That is NOT what he needs. He sometimes has a headache or is just plain tired at the end of his day. He just wants to sit and chill for a few. I need to be more understanding of that fact. He just needs some space after dealing with work all day. I don’t need to bombard him with who did what and all that happened in our day. Thanks for this most needed tip. Been thinking about and struggling with this and gives me something to chew on and pray about! GOD Bless! Thanks for all you do for our marriages! :)


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