What Husbands Want – Romance Me

October 13, 2010

in the generous life


A surprising number of men wanted their wives to romance them. They wanted to be surprised by little gifts, love notes, and signs of affection. The words “I love you” were very important, especially when they are spoken first, rather than spoken in response to their own “I love you.”

As a spin-off, a number of men said they needed more touch. This was not in respect to sex, but just an overall need for hugs, pats, snuggling, holding hands, etc. I guess guys can get touch hungry too!

Generous tip: Create the habit of touching your husband often. Hold his hand when you are sitting with him. Touch his shoulder or back when you walk by. Give him lots of little hugs and kisses. Rub his shoulders when he is sitting at the computer. Oh, and be sure to say, “I love you.”

Touch seems to be as essential as sunlight.  Diane Ackerman

Be generous!  Lori <><

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Christy October 13, 2010 at 5:40 am

One evening after a woman’s Bible Study gathering, several ladies and myself stood around chatting. Our wonderful husbands and the issue of touch came up in the conversation. Every lady standing there (about 6 or 7) had a husband whose love language is touch!!! We all confessed that we needed to work on this more.
-Hugging and kissing them when they come in from work or when they’re leaving.
-Responding to their hugs even if we are standing over the stove or folding laundry.
-Rub their back or scratch their head while sitting watching TV or a movie.
-Hold their hand in the car.
Those are just the few things we discussed that I remember.

Thank you for challenging and encouraging me to be the wife God has called me to be!



Laura October 13, 2010 at 6:20 am

These “what your husband wants” all sound like they were written by women-seriously!! Seriously…marriage conferences, love notes, non-sexual affection? I thought the #1 need want was SEX!!


The Generous Wife October 13, 2010 at 9:15 am

@ Laura
Sex is definitely on the list. I just ordered the tips differently. I tend to do “spiritual” tips on Sunday, “romantic” tips on Monday, etc. Saturday is typically the “sexual” tip. Lori


Jamie October 13, 2010 at 7:54 am

Yes. I totally agree. This is a must for my husband. He absolutely loves it when I rub his back as we are walking in the store or grocery shopping. And he can’t resist when I tickle, rub his head. He melts and stops whatever he is doing.


Diane October 13, 2010 at 10:13 am

We all have a love language. Find out what your husband’s love language is and “speak it”. We tend to love others in the same way we want to be loved (our love language), but those actions don’t “speak” love to others unless it’s their love language too.


Laura October 15, 2010 at 5:59 am

yes, Diane. Thank you, and i know that my husband’s love language is sex, porn, etc. I just find it very difficult to believe that a majority of men desire to go to marriage conferences and that carries more importance than what is always on their mind-sex.


Sharon Cohen October 16, 2010 at 9:03 am

A beautiful reminder. One that I still need to get often – weekly, even! Before I begin – can we all agree that there is a difference between “romance” and “sex”? My husband appreciates my romantic advances. (http://husbandsdeepestdesire.blogspot.com/2010/09/strawberries-chocolate-and-captive.html)

But being able to romance my husband did not come easily. I appreciate the conference videos that are shared by Mark Gungor on this topic. It helped me loosen up a little about my husband’s focus on sexual activity. I was also encouraged by the discussion in Emerson Eggerichs’ “Love and Respect”. God gave our husband’s their sex drive. It helps to remember that and not condemn them for it. But we can and should expect them to keep their sexual appetites within the bounds that the Lord has set.
.-= Sharon Cohen´s last blog ..I Slept On The Chair =-.


Jean October 19, 2010 at 9:32 pm

I leave my husband flowers on his truck at work all the time, love notes in the visor, I rinse out his thermos when he gets home, turn on the electric blanket before it is bed time and he loves it when I just sit next to him.
.-= Jean´s last blog ..Win a Frosty Book Panel From Lisa =-.


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