Comparison Hell

July 20, 2010

in the generous life

The other day I saw a web site and it was really, really, really good (it was like unbelievably good).  For one moment I thought, “how can I compete with that?”  Thankfully at that moment, God reminded me that I wasn’t supposed to be like them, I was supposed to be like me.  God wants to work through everyone and in a myriad of ways. It’s all good.  We can learn from others, but we’re not supposed to be like them.

I got to thinking about that moment and how that kind of comparison can mentality play out in marriages.  We look at other marriages and tend to see their good stuff and compare it to our bad stuff and then feel like we’ll never have a good marriage.  Or, on the other extreme, we look at others’ failings and see that “we are so much better.”  I think all that comparing is just asking for trouble.  Certainly we can look at other marriages and learn from them (both as good and bad examples), but truly we need to seek God’s direction for our marriages given that we are each unique.  My marriage won’t look entirely like yours and that’s very OK.  Recognize that we are all different people with different gifts living in different seasons of life.

Let God reveal His purposes for your marriage and what that should look like.

Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.  Eleanor Roosevelt

Be generous!  Lori <><

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Katrina July 20, 2010 at 4:34 am

Your website has been such a blessing to me and our marriage. Even when I don’t carry out the tips, it reminds me first thing every morning to make our marriage maintenance a priority.
Thank you for the time, energy, and attention that even takes away from your marriage at times, for the sake of this ministry. My marriage is blessed as a result of your faithfulness.

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Rhonda July 20, 2010 at 6:34 am

Lori, you have no idea how much I needed to hear this. “Apples of gold in pictures of silver.” When I fall into the CH trap, God is faithful to remind me, “You’re not her and she’s not you.” I KNOW all this stuff, but it’s so good to hear it from someone else’s mouth.

Bless you, sister!

Rhonda (aka The Lively One)

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stephanie July 20, 2010 at 6:38 am

Thanks so much Lori for all you do I think your website is great and I look forward everyday to what God will show you to give us!!!!!!!

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Happy Nappy Bride July 20, 2010 at 11:49 am

That’s awesome…it seems to happen so much, doesn’t it? I know when we were planning our wedding, it was so easy to compare. Now I’m sure it’ll happen with our marriage. I’ll have to keep your words in mind.
.-= Happy Nappy Bride´s last blog ..the power of food =-.

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hubby July 20, 2010 at 2:47 pm

(i’m a husband, and happily read both generous-husband and generous-wife daily). Comparing my bride to other brides almost cost me the love of a wonderful woman. It’s only when I fully trusted that god made me as I am and god made her as she is that I was able to step back, stop comparing her to other women, and love for all her wonderfulness. As others have said, this pair of websites is truly a blessing!

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