Fantasy

February 10, 2010

in the generous life

A few folks have emailed me about a concern with the ebook I offered yesterday. One of the authors suggested some self-written erotica that involved someone other than a spouse. I would just like to offer my perspective on fantasy.

I think imagination is a gift from God.  It serves a number of purposes, but, like most things, can be used for good or bad.  As believers, we need to be wise about how we use our imaginations.  I think there is nothing wrong with writing bedroom stories.  I think there is nothing wrong with role playing.  I think there is nothing wrong with enjoying sexual memories or creating sexual fantasies.  I do think we need to be prayerful about content.  We need to understand that where the mind goes the body may follow, where we create an appetite we may want to feed.

I don’t mean to throw a lot of fear on y’all, really I don’t.  I’m for outrageous generosity, including where the bedroom is concerned.  I just want to suggest a certain amount of care.  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with fantasizing that you and your husband are young again, that you’re deserted on a island, or that you live in another time (goodness, if you want to be aliens, go for it).  I do get concerned when folks involve other people in their fantasies or if they imagine doing things that their spouse would never in a million years ever do (that may create a hunger for something that’s just not going to happen and end in frustration for everyone).

Anything sexual is very personal and it can have a serious effect on the individual.  Reading a murder mystery won’t necessarily set you up to be a murderer and watching a movie won’t necessarily make you into a space ship captain, but frequent fantasies can shape how you think and how you will eventually act.  Be wise.

We are made wise not by the recollection of our past, but by the responsibility for our future.  George Bernard Shaw

Be generous!  Lori <><

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