Look Around

February 27, 2015

in the generous life

Look around at the people you know. What do you like about them (and more specifically what do you like about their marriage)?

Invite them to coffee and ask them about their life story. Learn from them. Implement the wisdom they’ve shared with you. Grow. Change. Enjoy the changes.

Learning is not attained by chance. It must be sought for with ardor and attended to with diligence.  Abigail Adams

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God for divine appointments with folks who can teach you new and better ways to relate to your spouse.

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Ann Swindell: The Power of Mini Marriage Retreats Make them easy and do-able.

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Allison Vesterfelt: How Failing Might Actually Be Progress Don’t let yourself get discouraged. Make the decision to keep making steps forward, despite your setbacks.

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On with the New

February 26, 2015

in the generous life

Routine gives a certain amount of structure and stability to your life, but, if that is all you have, it can get a bit boring. To add a little interest, try something new. 

Same for your marriage. Structure and stability are good, but you’ll need to add a little interest in your marriage by doing something new now and then.

May I suggest that you make it small, simple and doable, perhaps a few small changes in things you already do.

You could try a new recipe (you eat dinner, right?), a new TV series, a new position in the bedroom, or a new blend of coffee. Whatever you usually do, look for little ways to shake things up with something new.

Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen.  John Steinbeck

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you inject a creative newness in the routine of your married life.

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Heart Craving: Let Us Encourage You! Interesting new resource. Sign up for their newsletter!

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Intimacy in Marriage: Hey Wives, Stop Looking at Sex as Duty If you see sex only as duty, you will rarely experience it as privilege.

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Those Little Things

February 25, 2015

in the generous life

The other day Paul and I pulled into the driveway. Normally I jump out of the car and open the garage door so he can drive right in, but that day Paul told me to stay put. The weather had gotten colder and colder all day long. The wind had picked up something fierce. I hadn’t brought my heavier coat and I was chillin’ (in the bad kind of way).

It was a “small” thing, but it made my life so much nicer (and warmer) and it was an incredibly thoughtful gesture.

Turns out, little things are not so little.

Fixing your husband’s favorite meal or laundering and putting away his clothes may seem small and insignificant. I assure you, those “small” things are worth a great deal. Keep it up.

Small things become great when done with love. Author Unknown

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to show you how to bless your man in “little” ways.

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The Forgiven Wife: The Source of Your Beauty Body image issues? Read this.

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The XY Code: Say Something Before You Give Up Please, please, please say something.

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Practical Prep

February 24, 2015

in the generous life

What do you and your husband enjoy doing together? Cooking? Watching movies? Geocaching?

Be prepared so you are ready to play at a moment’s notice. Think through options and possibilities. What gear do you need? What kind of preparation?

Paul and I enjoy playing cards (and other games). I keep everything we need in a spot in our dining area. I can easily grab a deck of cards and paper and pen for score keeping. I don’t spend time digging through my purse for a pen or wondering where I put those silly cards. 

Think it through and be prepared so you can grab those moments of play.

It is better to be prepared for an opportunity and not have one than to have an opportunity and not be prepared. Whitney Young Jr

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you grow your organizing skills.

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One Flesh Marriage: Day 7- Forget the Housework Brad and Kate are writing encouraging posts through their 10 Day Sex Challenge. I like this day’s perspective.

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Ashley Willis: The BIG Lie that Leads to a Lonely Marriage Be supportive and interdependent instead.

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One of the best things I ever did for my marriage was tossing my score card. When you keep track of who does what and who has given more or less, you gum up your ability to love and give freely. Your behavior is, in effect, owned by another’s behavior. You can only give as much as you get (and others give only as much as they get, and everything grinds to a very miserable halt).

And, when you think about it, you and your husband are different people with different gifts and abilities. You’ll live through different seasons and have different needs and wants. There really is no fair or even division of give and take. So just take the whole thing off the table.

Instead be who God calls you to be and love generously because that is the work God is doing in you.

It’s amazing the kind of freedom there is. You give and God gives back (in and through others and life’s circumstances). You walk generously and God uses it to change your heart and the heart of others too. (I have yet to be able to out give God. I have been trying, just as an exercise in getting to know Him, and I’ve been seriously out-generous-ed. You should try. Perhaps you will have better luck at it.)

So toss that score card and enjoy your sweetie!

God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.  Philippians 2:13 NLT

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to teach you about generosity (and especially how to be generous to your husband).

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The Generous Husband: What if Gatekeepers Are Victims? Understanding culture’s impact on our sexuality.

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Cracking the Marriage Code: 7 Questions Every Married Couple Should Ask Each Other To Improve Their Marriage Y’all know how much I like questions. Here are 7 great ones to share with your man.

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Good Moments

February 22, 2015

in the generous life

Think back over this last week. What moments in your marriage were sweet? 

Here are a few from my week:

1. Watching Paul deconstruct a cabinet where our standing desks will go in the RV (nothing says happiness like a guy taking something apart).
2. Playing gin rummy with Paul while the dog played at our feet with his new bone.
3. Paul and I sharing coffee with our son, daughter-in-law, and new grandson. It doesn’t get much better than that.

This might be a good journaling project from week to week. It’s a good habit to hold on to those sweet memories and they help build a sense of gratitude.

Memories are timeless treasures of the heart.  Author Unknown

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you be present and engaged with your husband (a first step in building happy memories).

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We have received 10.2% of our $20,000 goal in the Send Us Out with a Cup of Coffee fundraiser (from 79 donors). Thanks for your generous support.  :)

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This Week’s Marriage Challenge:
Every day this week, do something a little romantic.

 
From The Generous Wife archive:

I have a plate that says “You are special today” around the rim.  We actually use it quite a bit.  You’re supposed to pull it out on birthdays and special days, but I find that folks need to know they are special more often than that. 

If someone has had a rough day, they are likely to find it at their place setting.  Guests are pretty special as well.  And, of course, there is the “just because” reason.

I highly recommend getting a “special” plate, but you could get creative and make your own or just buy an outrageously pretty plate and make that your family’s special plate.

Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Margaret Cousins

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to teach you how to encourage your husband with moments of special attention.

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Calm.Healthy.Sexy.: I Need Your Help for 2 Minutes, and I Have a Free Mini-ebook for You Take a mini-survey and download 24 Quick and Healthy Real Food Meals.

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum: My Heart for The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex Sheila shares her story and what she hopes her book will do for you.

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