THROWBACK THURSDAY – WAFFLES!
(originally posted July 24, 2013)

We have this really cool waffle maker.

Waffles!

I try to remember to pull it out fairly frequently. There’s just something about having a fun breakfast to start your day.

Why not plan a nice breakfast for your man. What is fun for y’all? Waffles? Cinnamon rolls? Breakfast burritos? (If mornings are totally out, you can have breakfast for dinner!)

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?
“What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh.
  A.A. Milne

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to show you how to have a little mealtime fun.

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Journey to Surrender: 5 Keys to a Wholehearted Marriage Be all in. Fully engage with your sweetie.

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I’m an Organizing Junkie: Want an organized home in 10 minutes a day? Try this! Simple steps to a clutter free home.

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When Paul and I started looking for marriage help (over 30 years ago) there were very few Christian marriage books and fewer still about sex from a Christian perspective. Paul and I struggled, prayed, and slowly changed and healed. The lack of resources really hurt because we didn’t know what we were doing and we had to trial-and-error just about everything.

Over the years, as we found new books, we would <do a happy dance> read them and discuss how to apply what we learned.

As Paul and I learned how to be better spouses, folks started turning to us for answers. We started a website and blogs (15 years this month, happy birthday TGW!) and now we travel and teach too.

We love sharing our stories, what we’ve learned over the years, and about all the good resources that are now available. Those resources can jump-start how you learn and grow in your marriage. 

Read, Apply, Share

Try using these steps for personal and marriage growth.

Read
Apply
Share

It’s a simple thing that doesn’t have to take much time (just read 10-15 minutes every day or so). Read a good marriage book and then share what you’ve learned with your husband or with a friend. Brainstorm what it might mean to you personally and how it might look walked out in your life.

If you read one or two books a year, it could amazingly impact the health of your marriage and you would have resources to share with friends.

An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.  Benjamin Franklin

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you stock up on marriage wisdom.

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Life Of Joy: Blessing My Man in a Small Thing Small things can have great impact.

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Cuppacocoa: Don’t Go 50/50 Give 100% and thrive!

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Awhile back a gal shared a “good book” with me and then proceeded to use the book to excuse a divorce. I was horrified because I know the couple fairly well and the husband is a pretty decent guy (not perfect, but not abusive). Understandably the book fell onto my “not to read” list.

Well, it wasn’t long until a number of my (marriage-supportive) friends started recommending the book. It moved to my “maybe” list. It was written about a much needed subject in marriage, so I was tentatively hopeful.

Recently I was discussing the book with yet another friend who recommended it and then handed me her copy. (Maybe this was a like a hint from God?)

affiliate link: Emotionally Destructive MarriageSo I read The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick.

The first couple of chapters are rough. She takes off the veil of rationalization, denial, and any other way you might be explaining away the behavior of an abusive spouse. After that, the book offers an amazing array of encouragement, insight, wisdom, and help.

I particularly liked her balance of concepts and practical, do-able advice. It’s one thing to understand the situation. It’s another to know what to do.

If you suspect you are in an abusive situation, I encourage you to read the entire book and buddy up to a good friend to discuss before doing anything (unless you are in physical danger, hotline: 1-800-799-7233).

More than that, I recommend the book for, well, everyone. Even if you are not in an abusive relationship, it’s helpful to know the signs of abuse and know how to respond to a friend in trouble.

The church, for the most part, does not understand emotional abuse or how to respond to it in a healthy, biblical way. This book would go a long way to educating folks.

An emotionally destructive marriage is one where one’s personhood, dignity, and freedom of choice is regularly denied, criticized, or crushed. This can be done through words, behaviors, economics, attitudes, and misusing the Scriptures.   Leslie Vernick

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you become a healthy, helpful friend.

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Michael Hyatt: How Our Words Impact Others Build up your sweetie.

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Awaken Love: Living in the Tension Discern God’s way for your marriage and sexuality.

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Yesterday I wrote about how understanding the beautiful and broken dichotomy can make it easier for us to have compassion on our spouse and be teammates (rather than adversaries). 

There is power and ability when you team up with your husband. Think of the simplest of tasks (like painting a room). It goes so much better and faster with two.

Team Up with Your Man

The enemy knows this and would prefer that you fight and be adversaries.

And if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand.  Mark 3:25  ESV

When you can be comfortable with the beautiful and broken in each other (a compassionate journey together), it’s easier to team up and rock the world with your abilities.

Your spouse doesn’t have to be perfect to be lovable. Neither do you. You can embrace the beautiful and work on the broken. Just keep walking and have each other’s backs. Be teammates.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10a  ESV

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and your husband see yourselves as teammates.

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(in)courage: A Picture of Real Love Listen to their stories and walk with them.

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Encourage Your Spouse: Vitality in Marriage Acknowledge reality and baby step your way to health.

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I’d like to share something that Paul and I have been talking about for a number of months. Some of it comes from all the talking and listening we’ve done and some of it comes from God dealing with our own messes.

We are all beautiful and broken. Living with that concept is hard.

Beautiful and Broken

We all want to look good, be good, and have folks like us. The truth is we are made in His image (beautiful) and we still battle a sin nature and have plenty of personal wounds (broken).

Jesus paid the price for our sin and yearns to help us heal and grow up. We have a place of security in His love and we are told to be loving and patient with each other in the process.

Understanding this and learning to have compassion and grace for people (including ourselves) is hard, but necessary work.

Living with this concept in marriage means that we are not perfect and our spouse is not perfect. There is much to love and much we may struggle with. Understanding the nature of your struggles can make marriage easier and help you become better team players.changesnewsm

If you struggle with this concept, I can recommend Changes That Heal by Dr. Henry Cloud. There are a number of chapters on the good and bad in us and on growing up. He’s a great story teller and can help you understand how to respond in a healthy and helpful way to your imperfect spouse (and deal with your imperfect self).

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.  Ephesians 4:32 ESV

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you see the security of His love.

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Words of Love

July 23, 2016

in the generous life

When was the last time you wrote your hubby a love letter?

Words of Love

Take the time to put in words your appreciation and thanks. What do you love about him? What sweet thing has he done lately? What would you like to do with him soon?

All a good letter has to do is make you feel special.  Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka, and Toshihiro Kawabatauote

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God for words to express your love to your man.

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The Forgiven Wife: Out of the Swamp Take a non-sexual baby step.

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Becoming His Eve: 3 Sweet Foodie Dates Yum!

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Day Trip Fun

July 22, 2016

in the generous life

Plan a day trip with your sweetie.

How far you go is determined by your mode of travel (by foot, bike, canoe, or car). Take a meal or buy lunch on the go.

Day Trip Fun

Travel as light as you can (spend less time packing, more time traveling and having fun), but do think through what you might need.

One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure.  William Feather

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and your husband have fun exploring a nearby place.

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Kathi Lipp: A Relationship-Crushing Lie (And the Truth That Busts It) Elevate love. Ban perfectionism.

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Are you shopping online this weekend? Please start on the Shop and Support TGW page. It won’t change your purchase price, but I will receive a small commission.

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