On Time

August 1, 2015

in other

This Week’s Marriage Challenge: Every day this week,
look for something beautiful to share with your husband.

 
Being on time and being prepared is a lovely gift to give your husband.

Perhaps you are the “on time” gal and this is not a problem for you. If so, the chances are you married a “time challenged” husband (opposites attract) and he will be blessed by any thing you do. Help him by being organized, aware of time, and generally available.

If you are chronically late, take some time to explore the whys. Do you misjudge how much time it will take to get ready? Do you forget things? Are you distracted?

Brainstorm helps and solutions. Can you set out what you need the night before when you have the time to think things through? Can you set aside an extra half hour so there is time to handle any little surprises? Can you simplify your routine? Do you have a good calendar system that you and your husband regularly review?

We all understand occasional lateness (life does happen), but if this is a chronic problem for you, try various solutions and practice being timely. Your man will thank you for it.

Better three hours too soon, than one minute too late.  William Shakespeare

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you govern your time wisely, be timely, and be prepared.

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Ashley Willis: The Most Common Mistake Women Make In Marriage  I have done this. You too?

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Marriage 4:29: Guest Post: 3 Ways You’re Hurting Your Spouse When you tear down your spouse, you destroy your marriage.

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This Week’s Marriage Challenge: Every day this week,
look for something beautiful to share with your husband.

 
WHAT I’M READING:

QBQ! by John G. Miller
This book is on my read-once-a-year list. It’s a very short, encouraging book that points you to being personally accountable (instead of playing the blame game). When I finish reading the book, I feel so empowered I feel like I can take on the world (or even my laundry).
Paperback

Fairness is Overrated by Tim Stevens
Honestly, I think the cover does the book a disservice (though I like the kitties). It’s supposed to be some kind of leadership principle book, but it’s much more. Each chapter is full of so much wisdom and insight, and much of it goes way beyond the business world. It’s a life book. So ignore the cover, read the book, and learn some really great stuff that will help you fill your life with things of value. Oh, and the chapters are really short (which I like because you can read one and think on it for awhile). 
Paperback Kindle 

WHAT I’M PINNING:

 how to make tablecloth plarn
 a pattern for a very sweet baby afghan
 how to make your own River Song diary cover (for Dr. Who fans)
 no knead skillet bread (yum)
 for the entrepreneur ~ 50 best business books for women

WHAT I’M DRAWING:

It’s been harder for me to find time for tangling this summer, but I still inching along. Here are my favorites from July. 

  

WHAT I’M WORKING ON:

My husband and I spent most of this month fixing up our stick built house for its new residents. Our latest project was replacing the bathtub and surround. We did a pretty good job, if I do say so myself. We should be done with the work on the house in a week or so and then we are back to working on the RV. I’m looking forward to a small trip around Washington state in early September.

WHAT I’M THINKING ABOUT:

I’ve been thinking about fear.

Now fear is not necessarily a bad thing. It can keep us from doing stupid things.

The problem is when we focus on the emotion of fear without working all the way through to the why. We get worked up by it (flight or fight), but never face and deal with the real source of the fear.

Lately I’ve run into several situations where folks were afraid, blamed the wrong thing (because they were looking for a quick fix instead of working down to the real problem), and then expected others to fix that thing so they wouldn’t have to be afraid any more.

You can see the problem. Even if that thing gets fixed, it’s the wrong solution. The real source of fear and pain has not been identified. Problem not solved. The fear will continue to dog that person and run their life (and generally make them hard to live with).

I’ve been that person at times, but as I take the time to work through my fears (usually a battle between lies and truth), I am free to deal with the reality of my world and hopefully be easier to live with.

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.  Psalm 56:3  ESV

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you see the lies you believe and the fears that try to own you. Ask Him to help you believe His truth instead.

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The Romantic Vineyard: Haunted By The “If Only’s” In Your Marriage? Learn to ask yourself the right questions.

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Paul and I are donation supported. If you feel lead, you can give to our support through The Marriage Bed, Inc. (tax deductible giving for US folks). Please mention “Paul & Lori” when donating through Paypal and JustGive. Thanks so much for your prayers and support. Razoo Paypal JustGive

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This Week’s Marriage Challenge: Every day this week,
look for something beautiful to share with your husband.

 
I’ve been thinking about baby steps again.

I think the thing that seems disappointing about them (and why many people just poo poo them) is that it takes so long to get anywhere a baby step at a time.

I get it. I don’t like waiting either, but many things that have value take time to build. They can’t be made quickly, overnight. Good friendships take years to grow, the ability to play an instrument takes many hours of practice, and so on.

I think we need to shift our thinking from the immediate to the things that are worthwhile that may take a while to grow … like a good marriage.

There are many facets of marriage ~ physical intimacy, communication, building your dreams, etc. It takes time and practice to become a good lover, to understand your spouse’s “language,” and to help each other work toward your dreams.

The hard truth is … baby steps are the thing that will get you there. The slow constant growth of step, step, step, builds something deep, valuable, and meaningful.

Take a small step today.

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit.  Moliere

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to give you the strength and stamina to take baby steps toward a better marriage.

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The Forgiven Wife: Intimacy Chat: Baby Steps This is a bit late, but I just saw that Chris is having a chat about baby steps tonight. Join the discussion!

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Unveiled Wife: Remember Who Your Husband Is Remember the good things.

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Team Up

July 29, 2015

in the generous life

This Week’s Marriage Challenge: Every day this week,
look for something beautiful to share with your husband.

 
Another communication help is to think of yourselves as a team at work on a problem (instead of seeing each other as the problem). Define the problem as something you are working on as a couple. When you put your minds and energy together, you are that much stronger and able to deal with problems.

Even if the problem is more “your problem” or “his problem,” there are things you can do to make it easier for each other.

This can also work for situations where only one of you is dealing with something (like a bad situation at work). You are still a team and you need to be there for each other (even if there is nothing you can do but encourage and pray, no small thing really).

When faced with a problem (inside or outside of your marriage) ask your husband to team up with you to find a solution.

Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.  Helen Keller

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to give you and your husband a team mentality.

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Of the Hearth: Relearning the Roles of Husband and Wife After Becoming Parents Some thoughts about keeping your marriage strong after the babies arrive.

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We are THAT Family: When God Makes Us Uncomfortable (It’s Often To Bring Others Comfort) “While we’re waiting to do something important, God is doing something important in us.”

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Try Again?

July 28, 2015

in the generous life

This Week’s Marriage Challenge: Every day this week,
look for something beautiful to share with your husband.

 
When I don’t understand my husband I ask him to repeat what he said. If I still don’t understand, I ask him to use other words or use a word picture.

Even though we both speak English, we speak our own version of English, colored by our gender, life experience, and more. The hard part is not taking offense when you are not understood. It helps when you both take into consideration your language differences.

Never assume that your language is identical to your husbands. Listen well. Ask questions if you need to. Be willing to use other words or word pictures.

Communication works for those who work at it.  John Powell

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you and your husband be patient when communicating.

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Life Of Joy: Stop . . . Pray . . . Listen . . . Obey Listen to God. Do what He says.

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The Respect Dare: Married? Miss THIS and you miss a LOT… It takes a bit of planning, but it’s pretty important.

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This Week’s Marriage Challenge: Every day this week,
look for something beautiful to share with your husband.

 
This post from the Generous Wife archive is three years old. It’s sort of a sad anniversary post for me because it involved a loss, but at three years out, I’m beginning to see God’s hand in the story.

I had a weekend of extreme ups and downs. [shaking head] It sort of put me through the emotional wringer. I went to a local Lavender Festival with my husband and wandered around looking at all the cool arts and crafts (I love spending time with him, I bought lavender plants and dried lavender to make sachets). We shared a piece of Huckleberry cheese cake (yum). Then we met for the day with friends who were camping. The drive was spectacular and the camp ground was great. (They even had toilets! Toilets are very important.)

Then …
I got the call that a friend of mine had lost her husband and son in a plane crash. You hardly know what to think in moments like that. Your heart goes out to those who grieve, but it all doesn’t seem real.

Then …
My husband and I took a wrong turn on the way home. We spent the better part of an hour driving up and down the roughest forest service roads I’d ever been on (sheer drops along one side of the road, no guard rails, downed branches, large rocks, deep ruts … I told my husband that Jesus was surely asleep in the back of our car, Mark 4:38).

My world had narrowed to a rutted road in the headlights. It felt like it would never end. On top of the news about my friend, I felt pretty lost, both physically and emotionally. But God … was there.

I don’t know how many times it says but God in the Bible. It’s in the thousands, which thousand depends on who you talk to or what version you read, but it’s there a bunch of times. Those words usually appear at a point of difficulty or danger. It usually reveals some huge contrast. The enemy means to do some harm, but God will work something good in it. God swoops in and does His God thing. Sometimes we don’t understand it (when it’s hard or scary), but we can trust Him because over the long haul we can see His hand in our lives and we know how deeply He loves us.

So … (obviously) we made it home safely. I will enjoy the lavender blossoms and remember my day with my husband fondly. One day I might even brave the forest service roads to go camping again (maybe). I will walk with and grieve with my friend, and I will watch for that but God moment when I see His handiwork and know that He is good.

You can look for those moments in your life too.

From my favorite Bible story: You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. Gen 50:20  NIV

Today: My friend is doing well. I watched her lean into Him for strength and balance. Her family and friends gathered ’round to walk with her and she is finding her way. Her daughter is growing like a weed and doing well with so many to love and encourage them. And, surprisingly, my friend is finding a love of learning and teaching. I’m sure there will be many more chapters to this story, but God is clearly working good in her life.

I think we all need to be reminded of how fragile life is and how we need to enjoy the time we have with the ones we love. It’s important to stay current with “I love you’s” and “I’m sorry’s.” Don’t let the passing days fool you into thinking that you have endless opportunities to bless your sweetie. Today is the moment we have. Put it to good use.

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you hold on during those difficult times knowing He is there and working it toward eventual good.

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The Generous Wife: Being Generous to the End As a response to my friends loss, I wrote this how-to article on keeping your papers in order and making them spouse friendly. 

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Fierce Marriage: 5 Phrases Wives Can Say to Deeply Encourage Their Husbands We all need words to lift us up.

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Beauty Spot

July 26, 2015

in the generous life

More on refreshing and keeping your sanity …

I believe it’s important to look at and experience beautiful things.

A pretty picture on the wall, a gorgeous sunset shared with your husband, or watching the kids play in the sprinklers ~ these things impact our soul in a good way. They rejuvenate our hearts.

This Week’s Marriage Challenge: Every day this week,
look for something beautiful to share with your husband.

 
Where do you find beauty in your life?

The most beautiful view is the one I share with you.  AuthorUnknown

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to show you (and hubby too) the beauty of His world.

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A final thanks to all who gave to our Send Us Out with a Cup of Coffee fundraiser. On July 17th we ended with 99% of our goal, and with a few donations coming in the mail, we’re calling it done. We’re still doing work on the RV and will make a small trip around Washington to exercise our traveling muscles. Then we’ll be on our way around the US later this fall. You can follow the adventure on The Generous Journey.

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