This Week’s Marriage Challenge:
Every day this week, leave a little note for your husband.

 
When your husband gives you that look or asks for a little of your time in the bedroom, smile and say yes with a bit of enthusiasm. Light a candle or turn on some soft music.

Let him know he is your delight.

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine.  Song of Songs 1:2 ESV

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to grow your delight in your husband and the intimacy of sex.

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Marriage Gems: Take a Hike—With Your Spouse Growing research connects being in nature and well-being.

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If you’re shopping online this weekend, please start on the Shop and Support TGW page. It won’t change your purchase price, but I will receive a small commission.

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This Week’s Marriage Challenge:
Every day this week, leave a little note for your husband.

 
I found this old post (originally titled “Two Cheese Slicers?”) that seemed to play well with the last couple of day’s posts. It’s about making room for our differences and needs/wants. From The Generous Wife archive:

I got to thinking about idiosyncrasies.

idiosyncrasies: a characteristic, habit, mannerism, or the like, that is peculiar to an individual.

You have them. Your husband has them. I have them. My husband probably has more than his fair share, but I digress. We all have things we do, don’t do, like, dislike, need, don’t want, etc. Most of these things are neither “right” nor “wrong,” they just are. They are a reflection of our individuality, our uniqueness.

A word of caution: be careful how you judge these idiosyncrasies. When you judge them as stupid or unnecessary, you are, in a sense, judging your spouse unfavorably. When you value them, you are valuing him. Yes, some of them might seem silly or unnecessary to you, but they make sense to him and are necessary to the balance and comfort of his world.

I figure it’s a good thing to offer to your spouse what you would like to have for yourself anyhow. So around our house … we have two cheese slicers and a few foo-foo pillows. It’s all good.

It is our uniqueness that gives freshness and vitality to a relationship. James Dobson

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you appreciate the uniqueness of your man.

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Encourage Your Spouse: Tasting a Daydream It’s so important to support each other’s dreams.

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Hot, Holy & Humorous: 3 Barriers to Communicating with Your Spouse about Sex Time to have that talk.

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This Week’s Marriage Challenge:
Every day this week, leave a little note for your husband.

 
Yesterday I wrote about disagreements and being willing to yield to the needs and wants of your spouse. I mentioned the balance of speaking up when something is truly important to you.

If you speak up on the important stuff and are gracious over the rest, you are more likely to be taken seriously because you have shown you are aware of varying levels of need, his and yours (it’s hard to deal with someone for whom everything is important). You are also showing your husband that you are willing to make room for his “important” needs and wants. 

The other concept coming into play is the more generous you are, the more likely it is that you will be appreciated, heard, and treated kindly. (It’s really hard to treat someone badly who routinely treats you nicely.)

When you have disagreement, ask yourself how important it really is to you. Can you yield to his want/need? Do you need to ask for something that is important to you? Are there options where you both can get what you want or need? Slow down, listen well, share clearly, and work through your options … and be generous.

Problems are only opportunities in work clothes. Henry J. Kaiser

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you become more self aware of your needs and wants and the degree of importance. Ask Him to soften your heart toward your husband and his needs and wants.

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I’m an Organizing Junkie: Why You Keep Losing Your Stuff and How to Find It “If this item was lost, where would be the first place I’d look for it?”

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Life Of Joy: Mindfully Self-Sacrificing Be intentional about reaching out to your man.

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This Week’s Marriage Challenge:
Every day this week, leave a little note for your husband.

 
Last night we moved our TV into the RV.

My husband centered it on a counter … not how I had envisioned it. I’m artsy-fartsy and I wanted it offset so you could see some of the curtain behind it and so there was room on the counter for something useful and/or pretty.

After a few minutes of tired fussing (it was late in the day, a bad time to have the discussion anyhow), we both let it drop.

We later agreed it wasn’t a hill to die on and we were willing to let the other have their way. If it was deeply important to one of us we would go with that. As it is, we will wait awhile because we are still moving things into the trailer and we may need to move it one direction or the other for practicality’s sake.

A couple of points about disagreements …

Be willing to set down a disagreement if either of you is tired, hungry, or having a bad day.
Be willing to yield to the needs and wants of your spouse (this is a two way street, so don’t become a door mat, speak up when something is important to you). Most things are about preference, not “right” or “wrong.” 
Give yourself time to consider all your options and try a few things before settling into a choice.

Life is full of moments like this. Be flexible and generous. Set the tone for gracious living.

The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion. G. K. Chesterton

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you stay calm and generous in moments of fussy disagreement.

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum: Guest author JParker shares Top 10 Ways to Get Turned On By Your Husband Again Great list of doable helps.

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Joyful Homemaking: Chore Kits with Free Chore Printable Nice idea especially if your kids are a part of the cleaning team.

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I’ve been going through more stuff as we move into the fifth wheel.

In one drawer I found a whole pile of cards and letters. Most of them were from Paul, but many from other family members and friends. I smiled, laughed, and cried a bit as I read through them.

The words in the cards and letters reached across the miles and years. I felt so blessed to be loved and appreciated by my sweetie and others. The ability of their words to communicate their hearts was so powerful (and please understand these are folks like you and me, not notable authors, just people speaking from their heart).

What a great concept to play into this week’s challenge.

This Week’s Marriage Challenge:
Every day this week, leave a little note for your husband.

 
I still don’t know what to do with all the cards and letters, they take up space, but they tug at my heart. I thought about scanning them, but it’s not quite the same as holding them in your hands.

Words can sometimes, in moments of grace, attain the quality of deeds.  Elie Wiesel

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to remind you frequently of the importance of your words.

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The Forgiven Wife: Regret: When Someday Never Comes How are you tending your marriage?

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For Better – Or What?: A Life Well Lived? Will your future self be grateful to you for the way you are living your life today?

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Years ago, my husband came up with this prompt for praying for your spouse. It’s a simple tool that can help you pray daily for your man.

Sunday – pray for his Spiritual walk 
Monday – pray for his Moods and Mental health 
Tuesday – pray for his Thought life 
Wednesday – pray for his Weaknesses to be healed 
Thursday – pray for his Time usage 
Friday – pray for his Friendships 
Saturday – pray for his Sexuality

Please feel free to use this or modify for your husband’s particular needs.

More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of. Alfred Lord Tennyson

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to give you a heart to pray daily for your husband.

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We’ve made 62% of our $15,000 goal. Total donors 236. Thanks, y’all, for your generous support. Paul and I are working toward traveling full time in an RV doing small seminars and meeting folks around the country. We’re asking our readers to Send Us Out with a Cup of Coffee (your $2 to $5 donations can make a difference!). You can follow the adventure on The Generous Journey.

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Keep an eye on what you say about your husband.

Think it through. How would he feel about what you are saying? Would he be pleased? Hurt? Built up? Torn down?

Your words are important, as are your belief and confidence in him. Say those things that will build and bless (whether he is around to hear or not).

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.  Ephesians 4:29  ESV

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you weigh your words before they come out your mouth.

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Confessions of a Terrible Husband: How Small Changes to how you Listen, Learn, and Love can Improve Your Relationship Fast Great interview with author Susie Miller. My to-read stack just got taller.

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The Art of Simple: Organize your garage so it supports your family priorities I love blog posts like this.

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