How Many Rolls?

August 30, 2015

in the generous life

This may at first sound like a silly post, but really it’s not.

The other day, Paul and I were making a shopping list and Paul asked if we needed toilet paper.

I knew where it was stored (new RV dwellers) and how much we had. He responded that he knew I would know (not because I’m so brilliantly organized) because I use more toilet paper than he does.

I blinked.

I’d never thought about it before. I use toilet paper every time I use the toilet. He only needs it every now and then. (I’m also rather jealous that he can write his name in the snow. In Washington during the winter there is the boredom factor.)

Slapped in the face by a gender differences! 

Never once has he complained about the extra cost. He just calmly acknowledged the difference. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever heard him complain about feminine hygiene products either. Sadly, I can’t say that I’ve been that kind about shaving blades or his brand of hair gel (he has long hair). 

All this silly rambling to say … there are gender differences. Appreciate them, graciously accommodate them, and keep track of your supply of toilet paper.

(Sorry, couldn’t find a quote for this one.)

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you graciously accept your husband’s differences.

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Friends of mine use SASHET to regularly “check in” with their small group. It’s a tool to help people communicate.

Couples are starting to use it as a way of learning to communicate, to share their heart and hear the heart of their spouse.

The object is to identify what you are feeling and communicate that to your spouse. Here are your choices.

S ad
A ngry
S cared
H appy
E xcited
T ender

For example, I could check in as Happy (I love the beach) and Scared (I’m still a bit concerned about our kids as they wait out the evacuation order because of fires near their home). I’m also a bit Excited because I think I’m getting the hang of this house-on-wheels lifestyle.

Why not share this tool with your man and check in with each other first thing in the morning, over dinner, or curled up in bed each night.

Hear each others’ hearts.

The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them. Ralph Nichols

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to teach you to hear your husband’s heart when he shares with you.

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Darby Dugger: Prayers Are Not Wasted Join her 30 day prayer challenge!

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The Forgiven Wife: A Quiet Proclamation There is hope for a healed marriage.

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When you think of yourself, what “labels” do you wear?

Mom? Wife? Teacher? Organized? Stupid? Helpful? Lacking an opinion? Picker upper of Legos? Creative? Slow?

Some labels are fine. Some are fine in some situations. Others can be hurtful, false, or inappropriate at times.

Think through your labels and refuse those that aren’t a good fit. (It’s OK to talk plainly to those who are trying to tag you with a label you don’t want.)

And, of course, it’s a good idea to talk to your man and ask for his help. Talk about who you are and where you want to grow. What kind of words do you want to use in describing yourself? Ask for his encouragement and support. (Be willing to do the same thing for him.)

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.  e.e. cummings

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you know and  love the unique you He designed you to be.

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Hot, Holy & Humorous: How Can I Help My Husband Be More Adventurous In Bed? Some thoughts for the higher drive wife.

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Unveiled Wife: 22 Fun Games For Couples To Play Recommended games for couples.

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I think I’ve shared this idea before, but it bears repeating.

Grab a jar and a dream.

Toss loose bills and bits of change in the jar (change that winds up in the dryer, clean out your purse each week, skip a coffee a week and add money to the jar, etc.). Eventually you will have enough to fund the dream.

a special date night
a new bed
a wanted vacation
 a household renovation
a step toward a personal dream for you or hubby

It’s a simple way to do something great and not crunch your budget.

Visualize your long-term goals to paint your short-term action on the canvas of now.  Terri Guillemets

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you find little ways to build your dream fund.

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Marriage 4:29: 4 Exercises to Build your Marriage Muscles Very cute post with a lot of muscle.

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howsyourlovelife: The Closer Appreciate your differences!

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A Question

August 26, 2015

in the generous life

Just a simple question today.

How does God want to you treat your husband?

Please don’t take it lightly. Take a couple of days to listen for God’s answer.

God speaks in the silence of the heart. Listening is the beginning of prayer.  Mother Teresa

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you stay quiet on the inside so you can hear Him.

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The XY Code: Why Bother, She’ll Never Change If your husband has given up on certain issues, ask yourself why.

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Encourage Your Spouse: Camaraderie – How To Be Close To Your Spouse I love their practical ideas for building/keeping camaraderie.

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A Change of Plans

August 25, 2015

in other

Paul and I planned a small jaunt around Washington to exercise our RVing skills. Just a couple of days at a retreat campground and a couple of days in Sequim (pronounced “skwim”) to visit with family and friends.

When it was time to go to our home base, we got a text from our son. They were being evacuated because of a nearby fire. They bundled up everyone and their important stuff and drove off to a small cabin out of harms way.

OK, then.

Change of plans.

We’re now sitting at an RV park on the coast. (I can hear the sympathetic groans.) We’ll stay on the coast until the fire gets sorted out (at this point about 15 percent contained but it’s looking like their place will be OK).

I mention this because, though it’s a lovely change of plans in some ways, it’s still a change of plans and unsettling. We had to rearrange our finances, work hours, and more (plus the concern for our kids).

Life is full of stops, starts, and curves (and sometimes a few drop offs!).

How do you handle change?

Do you fuss? Complain? Do you and your husband team up and make a plan or fight about options?

As a perspective, staying calm and thinking creatively can be a big help. I know it’s a difficult when things are whirling around you, but a small break and a prayer can make a huge difference on how you approach and deal with change.

You must welcome change as the rule but not as your ruler.  Denis Waitley

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God for wisdom, calm, and creative ideas when life throws you a curve.

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(in)courage: How to Make a Marriage Flourish Marriage is a team sport.

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Unclutterer: Getting organized doesn’t happen overnight Three basic approaches for taking control of clutter:

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I was reading Keelie’s 3 Bible Verses You Can Apply To Your Marriage and enjoyed her perspectives on applying scriptures that are not typically applied to marriage.

9thoughtsMarriage doesn’t happen in a bubble and much of scripture can be applied to marriage even if it doesn’t have a “use this in your marriage” directive.

So the next time a scripture stands out to you, ask God how it can be applied to your marriage.

And it’s time for a giveaway, so I’m going to ask y’all to share your favorite Bible verses and any marriage application you can think of. Or perhaps there’s a scripture that you hold onto for your marriage or one that God seems to be holding out for you to consider.

Please leave your thoughts as a comment to this post and I will pick a random number on August 31st. The poster in that spot will win a copy of Sheila’s new book 9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage (or the book of their choice from the Marriage Book Library).

Apply yourself wholly to the Scriptures, and apply the Scriptures wholly to yourself (and marriage).  Johann A. Bengel (parenthesis mine)

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to speak to you about your marriage through His Word.

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Calm.Healthy.Sexy: 5 Simple Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage Today “The effect of doing them regularly will add up over time.” Love this perspective. 

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Family Life: One Simple Habit That Will Transform Your Marriage Take the challenge!

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