His Treasures

September 21, 2014

in the generous life

From The Generous Wife archive:

Clean or fix up something that has value to your husband.  Clean his car, mend his favorite jacket or gather all his photos into a photo box or album. 

A caution: Do think through what you do because some fix ups can be more hurtful than helpful.  Fixing up an antique will diminish its value.  You also have to know your husband well enough to know what will bother him or not.

To err on the side of kindness is seldom an error.   Liz Armbruster

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God for wisdom and direction when it comes to blessing your husband.

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Image courtesy of photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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A Moment to Connect

September 20, 2014

in the generous life

Grab your sweetie and go out for a cup of coffee (or other beverage).

 

It won’t cost much. It won’t take long. Just take a moment to connect and enjoy each other’s company. (If kidlets are an issue, tuck them into bed and enjoy your drink on the patio.) 

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.  Simone Signoret

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Prayer Prompt Pray for opportunities to connect with your husband.

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Of The Hearth: Caring for Your Family by Purchasing Life Insurance I don’t know anyone who likes talking about this stuff, but it’s so important. Please read and do what it takes to take care of yourself and your family.

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The XY Code: Are Men Emotionally Lazy? Understanding Emotional Intelligence and gender differences.

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Image credit © Robert Kneschke | Dreamstime.com

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Hi, gals, I have a treat for y’all today. Aja Dorsey Jackson (of Making Love in the Microwave) has written a guest post challenging us to be brave and be honest. It’s tough, but it’s true.

One of my favorite scriptures is Proverbs 24:26: An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.

I’ve written about this short verse from all different perspectives because it speaks so well to the power of honesty in creating intimacy between two people. As I’ve grown in my marriage, I’ve learned that honesty goes deeper than answering a direct question with the truth vs. a lie; it requires being open and vulnerable in every way, including being honest in your pain.

Some of your biggest arguments likely happen when instead of telling your spouse your true feelings – that some word or action made you feel hurt or left out or insecure – you give into the natural inclination to protect yourself and to strike back. It doesn’t feel normal to encounter what you perceive as an attack and instead of protecting yourself to expose all of your other sore spots. It’s easier to point a finger right back than to say “this hurt me” and to be completely honest about why.

But in order to protect you have to hide, and sometimes deceive. Approaching issues in your marriage wearing protective gear promotes dishonesty, the layer of protection keeping you from getting as close as possible to one another. Instead of laying our vulnerabilities on the table and working toward understanding, we enter into marriage conflicts dressed for battle, and a battle is often what we get in return.

Your challenge is to promote intimacy by being honest with your spouse the next time you’re upset. Be honest with yourself about what it is that is truly making you upset, and share that honest answer with your spouse. Lower your weapon (dishonesty) and have the courage to tell your spouse how you feel without accusation and anger. Trust your spouse enough to be honest with him, and trust God enough to protect your heart so that you don’t build walls in your relationship by trying to do it yourself.

Aja Dorsey Jackson is a mother of two, freelance writer and author of the blog, Making Love in the Microwave, giving practical marriage tips to busy couples. Download her free e-book to build a stronger marriage in 15 days. 

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you share your heart honestly with your husband (without anger and accusation).

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum: What’s Your Attitude Towards Sex? Thinking More Positively Take the initiative. Make that mind-shift.

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Are you shopping online this week? Please start on the Shop and Support TGW page. It won’t change your purchase price, but I will receive a small commission.

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Image credit © Wavebreakmedia Ltd | Dreamstime.com

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Try wearing something different to bed.

It doesn’t have to be lingerie (though it could be if you or hubby like it).

It could be a very thin Tshirt or even something of his, like a partially buttoned shirt.

Is not the most erotic part of the body wherever the clothing affords a glimpse? Roland Barthes

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you see yourself as sexy.

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The Romantic Vineyard: Making Time For Romance When Life Is Too Busy Be intentional. Show your love in practical ways.

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The XY Code: Why Does He Hate My Friends? A lot of great questions to help you navigate this problem.

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Image credit © Konstantin Kamenetskiy | Dreamstime.com

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My husband had an opportunity to get some great firewood (we heat our house with wood). 

I went along for safety. It’s a wise thing to have folks around when you are using potentially dangerous equipment. As he worked I kept thinking there had to be a generous tip there somewhere.  :)

I think the thing that struck me about this was the nature of just being there. Sometimes your spouse needs you for safety. Sometimes for comfort, companionship or just for fun. The list really is pretty long because two are better than one.

Be there for your man.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.  Ecclesiastes 4:9-12  ESV

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to show you opportunities to be there for your man.

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Life of Joy: Do the Hard Thing Give your spouse room to think things through.

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To Love, Honor and Vacuum: Made for Each Other: Embracing Differences in Marriage Great personal story of how differences made their marriage better.

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Image credit © Lori Byerly

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A Date with a Camera

September 16, 2014

in the generous life

From The Generous Wife archive:

Make an appointment at a photo studio to get some nice photos done of you and your husband (or grab a friend with a digital camera and have them take as many pictures as you need to get the look you want). 

Why not make it a yearly date (so that you have lots of lovely photos over the years) and, because you and your husband are looking so spiffy, add a bit to your date by going someplace special.

(Don’t forget to make a few extra prints for sharing with family and friends for the holidays. They are nice to tuck in Christmas cards and such.)

A good snapshot stops a moment from running away.  Eudora Welty

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you get a few really good photos. (I realize this is kind of an odd prayer prompt, but please understand that not all of us are photogenic. <waving hand> I figure God understands and cares about the little things.)

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Life Your Way: The 2014 Christmas planners are HERE! A couple of days ago I encouraged y’all to start planning for the holidays. Well here are free downloads for all kinds of organizational help.

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Calm. Healthy. Sexy.: 7 Ways to Get in Touch With Your Sexy Side – Even If it’s Missing in Action While you’re there, follow her blog and a get her new free ebook!

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Image courtesy of Sura Nualpradid / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Dreamin’

September 15, 2014

in the generous life

Have you and your husband talked lately about your personal dreams (individually or as a couple)?

That’s the sort of thing that gives a bit of sparkle to your lives. It also gives you the opportunity to support each other or work together doing something fun and creative.

If you don’t have any dreams, why not take a lazy afternoon and brainstorm some possibilities. What would it take to make those dreams come true?

You must go after your wish. As soon as you start to pursue a dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning.  Barbara Sher

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Prayer Prompt  Ask God to help you discover those things that will set your hearts on fire.

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Storyline: Who Will You Let Shape Your Story? Keep an eye on the subtle influence of others on your life and marriage.

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Calm. Healthy. Sexy.: Redefining and Reclaiming “Sexy” What’s your definition of “sexy?”

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Image credit © Nikita Vishneveckiy | Dreamstime.com

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